Raine Finally 
Breaks Her Silence.
  The story of her 
true miracle ....

“I never talked about it. I was always afraid

that it would destroy me

as a singer.

But, God gave me this voice

as a gift.

Twice.”

a one-on-one interview

with freelance writer, Mary Kay Dessoffy

©2011 Photography by Linda’s Lenses. Used by permission.

 

MK:     Raine, your story is nothing like I’ve ever heard before. You shouldn’t even be talking, let alone singing. With all the success a young aspiring singer could imagine and a future in the music business at your finger tips, what could possibly cause your career to become fearful? Tell us what happened.

RA:     Hindsight tells me it began when I lost my dad. I was living in Nashville and approaching my first thanksgiving and Christmas season away from my family in Cleveland. I was debating if I should head home, only because I was making great connections and the months of networking was beginning to pay off. Yet something was calling me back home. A friend filled me in on her same dilemma,  so I went home for the holidays. It remains the  best decision I ever made in my life.  While I was home, a long time girlfriend of mine passed away the week before Christmas. Three weeks later, my cousin was tragically killed in a plane crash. That’s still surreal. The overwhelming emotion got the best of my dad who was battling diabetes and heart disease. He left us 2 days after we got home from my cousin’s funeral, January 22, 1997. I went into a deep state of depression that lead to chronic fatigue. I couldn’t find the energy to get back to Nashville.

RA:     Well, it was something my mom did. I was crying my daily bucket of tears, when she stuck a cassette in a little player in my room. The singer was actually pretty good, so I asked Mom who it was. “See, you forgot,” she said. “It’s you.” I was so surprised to hear my own voice that I didn’t recognize it. She went on to remind me that my father would be very disappointed if he knew of my sadness because he would only want to hear me sing. That next week, I packed my bags and headed back to Nashville. I segued from country music into Christian music.

RA:    While battling chronic fatigue, my body would tingle from exhaustion usually within an hour of waking in the morning. Then one day a friend handed me his espresso. I took one sip and found the caffeine helped me. So, I started drinking very small amounts of coffee- like only sips a day. Then, one afternoon I felt a scratchy throat coming on.  I stopped at the store and bought some lozenges, no big deal. But by the middle of night I was in excruciating pain in my throat. I ate the entire bag of lozenges by morning. Not only did the pain worsen, but I had no voice! I called my E.N.T., tapped into the phone with a pencil and somehow managed to schedule an appointment an hour later. I will never forget that visit. The doctor looked at my chords, then he looked at me, and he put his head down and said, “ Oh, Raine. Please tell me you are not a singer.” I looked at him with shock and surprise and immediately the crocodile tears began to fall! I could only shake my head ferociously YES! I began to panic. There was a long pause before he took off his examination gear, and then came the devastating blow, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but your vocal chords are so damaged that they’re actually raw and blistered, just like a lip that is burned from hot pizza cheese.”  The tears got bigger, the silence got louder and he continued, “Raine, don’t be surprised if you never sing another note the rest of your life.” We both put our heads down.  And that is the moment my world turned upside down.

MK:    You were just about to release your first CD, your CD Release Party is scheduled at the Bluebird Cafe, your friends and family from across the country will fly in, you are expecting heads of record labels, A&R people, songwriters AND your fans  who all want to hear your new music , but you have no voice!?  With all this happening, you still felt headed on God’s path?

RA:    With God on my side, I knew I would win. Sometimes he stands silently, but I still cried a lot. For days. Even then nothing came out. I was sure in my mind that Satan was at his best in his attempt to destroy my work, my voice, my music, everything I am and give, because it is all to God’s glory. I was determined NOT to let Satan take my voice.  But, I was miserable. I was up against a very difficult decision: Do I quit singing? How do I do that? What would I do?

MK:    Raine, this really is a miracle of God. So, tell us, what role did a cup of coffee play in all this?

RA:    Yes. I founded a choral group called Resounding Joy!. We performed for about 4-years. In 2009, I decided to go off on my own again, but a couple of the RJ! singers joined me on stage in a cameo. In fact, the new CD, “New Life,” has three songs with RJ! that are absolutely wonderful. Four of the songs are not Christmas songs.  While the 2011, 2012 and now 2013 concert series remains focused on LOVE songs - I think we all need a little extra LOVE about now.

MK:    Well, all I can say is, congratulations, Raine.  You have beat the odds! Even with only 25% of a voice, it is unbelievable. I’ve seen you perform LIVE many times - you continue to knock me off my seat. Many times I’ve watched your audience cry with emotion during your performances. You are blessed with a second chance, Raine. Thank you for sharing your very personal story with us. All the best with you!

MK:    That’s quite a force to reckon with. What’d you do next?

RA:    Who would think coffee would be so dangerous? The acid from the coffee became my enemy.  It helps with my chronic fatigue, even today, but the acid is a singers worst enemy. I am very careful with it.

RA:    So, to make a very, very long story short, I ended up at voice therapy at Vanderbilt for several months. The Therapist I worked with was more than amazing. She was determined that I would sing at my CD release party.  She worked very hard with me to keep her word. And she did. She taught me how to speak again and how to sing again.  I was able to sing at my release party a month later. It was positively a true miracle. I had to learn how to sing without anyone knowing I only had 25% of my voice left.  It took months before I was able to even “talk” without pain. But I am singing again and I am singing more now than I ever.

RA:    Thanks, Mary Kay. Well, my voice changed.  A lot. Fortunately, God sent me a new direction, a  new genre, so I can still belt out some tunes without hurting myself.  The singing technique I learned from Jonathan Retzloff at Blaire School of Music in Nashville keeps me in shape and gives me endurance.  I met with the head of the ENT department at the Cleveland clinic. He said my vocal chords are completely healed, so I should sing my  heart out! Today I continue singing with only 25% of what I had when I moved to Nashville, but I'm so grateful that I can't find myself doing anything else.  It's been a wonderful change. That’s what this new CD, “New Life,”  is all about. I never forget that it’s all about my relationship with Jesus – and this is His music - and we can do all things through Christ. I designed a new concert series in 2010 that is all love songs called, “It’s All About Love!.” After all, God IS love.

MK:    Considering the injury, how are you able to sing so much? You are still a great singer, Raine! I just find it so impressive.

MK:    You are currently singing quite a bit, Raine. You put together specialty concerts in Cleveland that focused on intense harmonies, and now you are going back into the studio even after you just released a new cd, is that right?

MK:    As we all know the end result that you eventually returned to singing, tell us, what did you do to overcome the depression to get back there?

MK:    So in Nashville, I understand you were connected with some very accomplished and successful songwriters such as Gary Burr, Kim Williams, Karen Staley, and Jeffrey Steele, who is very successful right now! Quite an amazing artist himself.

RA:    Ah, yes! What a lucky girl I am to know these remarkable people. Jeff Steele and I got to be good friends and talked about him producing my first solo CD, but our schedules were too hectic. So, my talented friend John Foster, a songwriter with Charlie Daniels Publishing at the time, stepped up to work with me. We collaborated with our friend Bob McGilpin from LA. I’m very proud of that project. It’s available on iTunes & CDBaby.com for digital download. The hard copies are nearly sold out, but the few that are available are on CDBaby.com.

MK:    What’s the story of true miracle?